I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
