he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
