it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
