I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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