i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
