**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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