Too much gin, very little bucket
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I deserve this hangover.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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