I never want to see another naked old woman again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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