Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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