Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
