Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
