I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
