Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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