I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
