She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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