I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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