Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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