dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
