Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
