we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize