I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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