She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize