the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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