is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
