He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
