I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
