He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
