even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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