just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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