She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
