I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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