I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
