the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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