now i know why i became what i already was.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
