yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
