She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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