Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize
