Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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