So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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