i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
