I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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