I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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