yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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