Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
