just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
