A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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