Hey man sorry I got all grabby
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
