so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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