I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
