I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Couch. On fire.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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