Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
