i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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