I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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