i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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