i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
