woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
