yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
