Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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