I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
