do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
