Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
